Computer Woes

Oh dear. Where do I start? Laptop or desktop? Wheezy or Ducky?

Let's start with....Ducky. Ducky was named because my desktop is ancient, in computer years. Uh, about 7 years or so? Anyway, Ducky is the cute little character from "The Land Before Time." Yup, yup, yup. However, she is now referred to as Ducky the Demented Demon; the computer, not the little cartoon dinosaur. Okay, DDD (for short) is irritating me. When you first turn it on, it takes about 10 minutes for it to be-relatively-functional. So I turned it on, waited about 10 minutes and tried to open the Kodak program so I can finish copying my pictures to CDs. (Just in case DDD wants to finally kick the bucket/motherboard/hard drive, I want to have my pictures saved.) Then I waited. And waited. And waited some more. Finally, getting ticked, I did the Alt, Ctrl, Delete. AND THE PROGRAM WASN'T EVEN RUNNING. I try to close the task manager. It won't close. Do you Alt, Ctrl, Delete again to get rid of the task manager? Well, I did. It finally closed after about 3 minutes. Tried clicking on Kodak again. Nope. Then all of a sudden, DDD starts DELETING stuff. What, I don't know. It just said, "Preparing to delete" as the little paper flies from the picture of a folder to the picture of the wastebasket. So I click "Cancel." Nothing happens. The paper is still flying. I furiously click "Cancel" several more times. Finally, a new box pops up that says, "continue deleting or cancel?" Well WTF. What does it think??? So I click "cancel," again. Nothing happens-again. Again, I begin to crazily click cancel. Finally, the computers BEEPS at me! Well, beep to you too! ARGH! By this time, about 29 minutes have elapsed. So I hold the power button as I smirk at DDD. Ha, take that! Then I count to 10-with Mississippi's-I might add. Then turn it back on. Since then, I have left DDD to think about her actions, and to get herself under control. We shall see.

Onto Wheezy. Oh Wheezy. I should start by saying when I was in my MEd program, one of my classmates had a Dell computer. One day, it was rather quiet in class and I could hear this whirring and gurgling sound. Come to find out, it was her computer-mine was blissfully quiet. Then it happened. My computer started making the same whirring and gurgling sound. No big deal. Riiiigggghhhttt. I then started to notice that the bottom of Wheezy got hot. I mean, really hot. So that you can't even have it on your lap! (Hello, not really a laptop at that point.) If you had it on your lap, say in summer, and say you were wearing shorts, you pretty much got burned. I had a red spot on my leg for a day. Then it started to smoke. Literally. There is this little vent on the back where smoke comes out! And you can actually smell something burning. While it does this, there is a new sound. Ever hear 2 wires crossing? It makes that sparking sound? That's what it is. Scary, I know. As a side note, I called Dell about this; I was pretty ticked/scared/irritated. I read on Dell's message board from other Dell owners that this is quite common. Anyway. I was talking to some nitwit at Dell, who said, and I quote, "Hmmm...sounds dangerous. It could start a fire." Ya think? "What do I do," I ask. "We will send you a box in the mail so you can mail the computer to us. Don't use the computer until you receive the box. In fact, keep it unplugged and the battery out. These give the computer power, so a fire can start at anytime." Jeepers. Thanks. That is very reassuring. So where is the box? In the Glendale Recycle Plant (or whatever it's called). I kept it around a few days, but I was not happy at having to not have a laptop and to pay to have it repaired. Honestly, with the time and the cash, I figured I wouldn't be out any more money if I bought a new one. Did I do that, you ask. Nope. I am still using Wheezy, and we are getting along swell. EXCEPT...Dum, dum, daaaaaaa.....she is being a pain. One day, I stuck my memory card from my camera into the little slot so I could download (upload? I am never sure which is which) pictures and copy them to a CD. Worked great. Until the second time I had to do it. Then, the card holder hole thing wouldn't keep the card in; thus, effectively irritating me once again. Now I have to hold the card in with one hand and try to copy, transfer, pick and choose, copy to a CD, etc. The next thing to go was the volume control. See the little icon down there to the right of your computer? Yeah, mine disappeared one day. I couldn't hold the blue Function button and control it with the keyboard. Nope. IT WASN'T WORKING AT ALL. Then one day, it came back. I adjusted the volume so my ears wouldn't jump off my head from the loud sound if I watched a video or whatever, just in case it happened again. Sure enough. A few days later, no more volume control. It is back now, so no need to worry. Oh, and the battery icon that shows how much battery you have? Hasn't been there in months. So you have to keep the computer plugged in (again, not very laptopish, right?) or take your chances your computer won't shut down because there is nothing left in the battery.

To conclude. As soon as I get my pictures off of DDD, she will be bye, bye, bye. SO done with her. As soon as a I save enough money (apart from the savings for a house), it will be bye, bye Wheezy. Most likely, Dell will be bye, bye too.

Charlie Bit Me

Bible Belt Baby

UGH

I hate being cold.

Just sayin'.